Feelings For Her
by JanoTwilight
Summary: Bella wants her best friend, yet instead sees Rosalie parading different girls and boys through their shared dorm room. Will Bella ever get to be with her best friend? One of my first proper fanfics, I may just keep it as a one-shot unless anyone wants more long lemony lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**First ever fem-slash, give it a go?  
It's not much but I'm planning to do more chapters with more longer lemony lemons :)**

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"Would you have sex with me if you were a boy?" the blonde on the screen asked me.

"No." I replied straight away without thinking.

"Well" she scoffed "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person on this planet either"

I don't think she realised that that had hurt more than she probably meant it to.

I ignored it as best as I could and carried on as though she hadn't said anything.

Oh I'm sorry, you don't know what's going on, or who I am, or who the blonde is. Let me tell you a few things.

I'm Bella, and the blonde on my laptop screen is Rosalie, we've been best friends since we met at secondary school in year 7 at the age of 11. We're now 18 and off to university this fall. And yes we're going to the same one, and hopefully not rooming together. Yes you read that right. _Not _rooming together. Rosalie wants to share a room with me but I don't want to. I can't.

You need to understand, Rose is beautiful, extremely gorgeous. She turns heads wherever she goes, and she's funny, intelligent and isn't scared to say whatever is on her mind. Some may think she's a bitch but I love her honesty. She'll say exactly what she thinks, no lies. But the reason I don't want to room with her is because I don't need to see the parade of boys and girls she'll bring back to our room. Yes she loves both genders. Now this wouldn't have been much of a problem if I wasn't me.

Unfortunately I love her. I fell for her when we were 16, when she held me at night as I cried over the fact that Jared cheated on me. Rose was livid, and her anger increased ten-fold when she found out that he cheated on me with our other close friend, Leah.

I remember her ringing me again and again, and as soon as I picked up and said "hi" she knew something was wrong, so she ran all the way over to my house. Not even bothering to knock she had barged into my room, took one look at me and wrapped her arms around me. That did it.

You know when you're holding back your tears but once someone holds you in their arms you just can't hold back the sobs? That's what happened. The tears started to rapidly fall down my cheeks and Rose just held me until my body stopped wracking with sobs. She held me against her chest; I fitted so right under her chin, curled into her body, into her curves. Rose placed her cheek against my hair and took a deep breath in, pushed me away slightly and looked into my eyes. Her eyes held anger, frustration, unanswered questions and the biggest emotion was love.

As soon as I spilled what had happened, what I had seen and who I had seen the only emotion in her eyes was anger. Pure anger. She got up and was walking towards the door when I told her not to leave me, that maybe we could just watch movies or read fan-fictions together. I saw her debating whether to leave and hunt down Jared or whether to stay with me. But when she noticed my tear stained cheeks and how I was holding myself together she sighed and came back to me.

All we did that night was read funny fan-fictions until we came up on a 5K smut one-shot. She smirked at me and opened it up, Rose seductively crawled closer to me till we were knee-to-knee, and then placed one hand on my thigh as she read the first paragraph. I blushed. But Rose carried on, she carried on reading as the story got progressively more and more smuttier.

It was when she let her hand drift higher up my thigh and bit her lip that I started to feel tingly down below. A certain feeling was taking over, from deep within my core all the way down to my toes. I hadn't ever felt like this with Jared. No matter what he did he hadn't ever made me horny or wet. Yet my best friend who was only touching my thigh and biting down on her luscious red bottom lip whilst reading smut has made me wet my lace panties.

I couldn't take it so I told her to stop and I moved away from her hand, I told her I was tired and needed to sleep. Rose seemed to look slightly disappointed and hurt, but I couldn't understand why. But when I asked her to stay the night with me a smile graced her face, which caused me to smile. I loved to make her happy, I really hated it when she was upset, it got me down as well.

I had a double bed just because Rose sleeps over a lot of the time, but that day I wished we didn't. I don't know how I'd handle sleeping near her, not after what I just felt.

When we got into bed Rose laid behind me and put her arm around my waist, she scooted close, really close. We do this normally but for some reason that night I noticed everything that I hadn't before. The way we fitted together perfectly, I was the exact right size to fit curved into her. How soft she actually was, how soft her boobs were against my back, feeling them move every time she breathed in and out. Every time her breath hit my neck I shivered slightly in pleasure, it gave me goose-bumps. I couldn't sleep.

It was after a couple of hours when I first heard it. Her moan. Her whimper. Her purr. Then came the movement of her hips, she slowly grinded into my backside. I lay there utterly still, not daring to move, not wanting her to wake up, wanting her to carry on. Soon her hand that was around my waist moved off of me and I felt it near my ass. Her knuckles brushed up against my backside, which meant she was touching herself. When Rose let out a loud moan I knew she had to be touching herself and I couldn't take it anymore so I turned around.

The sight before me was magnificent. One of her hands was in her pants, rubbing against her folds and clit while the other was pinching her hard nipples. With every moan my resolve was breaking until I couldn't take it and slid my own hand into my underwear. I was dripping, completely, utterly soaked. I was too horny to care about how wrong this was. I barely grazed my clit but the pleasure that shot through my body was something I hadn't ever felt before. So before I knew it I was watching Rose touch herself, her back arching, her mouth opening into an 'O' and then she moaned as she came. My hand furiously worked over my clit as my legs twisted and turned in the sheets, I threw my head back in pleasure. And as soon as she came I orgasmed, biting down onto my lip so I don't make any noise.

And that's when I realised what I had just done.

I climbed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I needed to remove the evidence, to get rid of the dirty deed I just did. I didn't know how long I sat there for but I guess Rose finally noticed that I wasn't there so she came and knocked on the bathroom door. I worked up my courage and pretended nothing had happened as I opened the door. But when I saw her looking like as though she was just thoroughly fucked I felt myself get wet again. I couldn't look her in the eye so I walked briskly past her and got into bed.

After five minutes Rose walked back into the room and gave me a sheepish smile, she asked me if I heard anything weird from her. I blushed but luckily it was too dark to see and I replied with no. Rose got into the bed again but faced away from me this time. I felt slightly hurt but knew it was for the best, I guess she figured out what she had done with me in the bed.

The next morning I pretended nothing had happened but every time I saw her I couldn't help but to notice everything I never cared about before. How perfect her skin is, how beautifully blue her eyes are, how her curves were soft yet she was toned. How luscious her red lips are, how I'd love to feel them on mine. As soon as that thought entered my mind I had to shake my head, I couldn't think like this about my best friend. Especially when I know she wouldn't ever consider me like that. I'm not pretty enough; I'm too plain, too small, and too average. She wouldn't ever want me. That thought slightly destroyed me inside.

Ever since that day I haven't ever seen Rose in the same way. Soon days turned to weeks and then to months and I slowly started falling for her. Unfortunately I fell by myself. And she carried on going out with boys and soon girls.

Which brings us back to the present.

"_Would you have sex with me if you were a boy?" the blonde on the screen asked me._

"_No." I replied straight away without thinking._

_I don't think she realised that that had hurt more than she probably meant it to. _

_I ignored it as best as I could and carried on as though she hadn't said anything._

Soon I had to go, so we said bye.

I can't believe I said no, stupid, stupid Bella. I just didn't want her to know that I'm attracted to her, it would probably gross her out and then it would become awkward between us and I'd lose my best friend. No. I won't let that happen. I'll just suck it up. Maybe I'll meet someone at university in October, only 3 more months. And then I can forget about my love for her.

Nodding to myself I get into bed and fall asleep.

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**I know it's not much but like I said before I'm planning to do more longer lemony lemons :) So if you guys do want more please just leave a review? :) It'd be nice to know if anyone wants more, otherwise I won't add anymore chapters :)**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys :) I can't believe how many of you guys read the first chapter, it made me so damn happy that I've decided to finish chapter 2 and post it! And I also got 1 review! I know that's not much but it meant so much to me! :) Well this is chapter 2 and it has a lemon at the end ... I hope you like it, I've never written a fem-slash lemon before so I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to your usual standard **

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*6 months later*

"Bella dear, I'm home!" Rosalie shouts as she enters our dorm room at 4am.

"God Rosalie, do you have to shout, I'm trying to sleep and god, you smell like a brewery. Do you have to drink so much?!" I ask scrunching my nose up.

Instead of going to her side of the room she prances her way up to my bed and lays down on top of my legs "You know me, I have to party after my last exam. And Bella, you" she taps my nose and then carries on "you missy need to get laid. Pronto. Oh that reminds me, one of my friends wants your number and I gave yours to him"

Shock runs through me, and I whisper, "You what?"

Rose lays back and stretches out on my bed and through a yawn says, "Didn't you hear me? I said I gave your number to a friend of mine"

Seeing my shocked expression she quickly tries to defend herself "Don't worry! He's not a creep and he's really hot, I would rate him at an 8. And well you need to get laid, I mean how long has it been since you had sex? Or fucked someone?"

So blunt. Always straight to the point she is. Fuck my life. How do I tell her that I've never been with anyone?! She thinks I've had sex, that I've lost my virginity, when in reality I haven't. I mean I've kissed guys here and there, and I've visited other bases, just not home base. Crap.

Lost in my thoughts I forgot to answer, so Rosalie speaks up, "See, even you can't remember because it was so long ago! So you definitely need this guy, seriously I've heard rumours about his magic fingers and tongue" she stares off into space and zones out.

I raise my eyebrow and smirk at her, "You've been with him haven't you Rose?"

She blushes slightly and shakes her head fast, "NO! No, no I haven't. I've just heard stories …"

"Yeah right, you've done him and that's why you're recommending him. What did you do? Promise him a blow job in return if he takes me out?" This might sound harsh but Rose will go to any lengths to get me laid, as though my body is hers.

"What?! No! How? I would never Bella!" she looks genuinely upset and hurt. Crap.

"I'm sorry Rose, I didn't mean to hurt you I just …"

She looks at me, waiting for me to continue. I need to tell her the truth. Okay. You can do this Bella.

I take a deep breath in, trying to work up the courage, "Rose, I haven't been honest with you, I … I erm … Well"

Rose impatiently buts in, "Well go on then! Spit it out!"

"I'veneverhadsexwithanyone" I rush out.

"Wait, what was that? I didn't quite catch that"

Sighing, I sit up straighter which makes Rose sit up and look at me. Taking a deep breath I look into her eyes and repeat "Rose, I've never had sex with anyone"

Shock and surprise takes over her beautiful features. She gapes at me and says "You've never had sex?"

I shake my head no, "No I haven't, but I have done other things" I add in quickly as though it would make a difference.

I guess it does because she nods her once, but when she looks at me again Rose appears hurt. Shaking her head she quietly asks me, "Why didn't you tell me before? I mean, when I first got it wrong?"

Grabbing her hand I play with her long slim fingers and say "I couldn't, you just looked so happy and proud, and I didn't know when to bring it up so I just didn't say anything, yanno?"

Rose sighs and nods her head, quietly she says "It's okay, never mind, then I guess you really need this date with Edward, he'll really be of help ay?" she winks at me and I feel sick. She gets up and walks to her drawers to pull out her pyjamas.

Great. Now how do I tell her that I don't want Edward? Not that there's anything wrong with him, trust me. I've seen the guy and he is hot, I've heard girls describe him as a Greek god with his chiselled jaw, wild bronze-brown sex hair and full plump pouty lips, but he doesn't affect me. I'm not attracted to him. Not one bit at all. If I was to say this to any other girl they'd ask me if I was a lesbian, to which I'd answer yes. I guess my next secret is coming out. If this one comes out only one more will be left which I'm hiding from Rose.

"Rose, I don't want Edward." I sigh and look down at my quilt. I hear her stop putting her clothes on and I can physically feel her walking towards me. Looking up I notice her standing in front of me with … Oh god. She hasn't put her top on yet. Oh god, she's so beautiful. The way her lacy bra cups her full D sized boobs.

Blushing I look down at the comforter again and whisper "I'm not into guys Rose."

It's quiet for a few minutes and I'm too scared to look up at her. I can hear her moving to put her top on and changing her trousers. Then the bed dips in front of me, but I still don't look up. Then all of a sudden Rose's fingers lift my chin up till I'm looking her in the eyes.

She smiles tenderly at me and says, "Are you into girls Bella?"

I nod my head once and blush, "Yes, I like girls"

Rose nods and smiles at me and asks, "Why didn't you tell me all this before Bella? I really don't care and it wouldn't have ever affected our friendship. You'll always be my best friend, no matter who you like. I wouldn't ever let it affect our friendship, you mean too much to me and I'm too emotionally invested in us to let us break over something inconsequent"

A tear falls down my cheek; she's just answered all my fears and insecurities. I can't help it, I leap forward and wrap my arms around her in a tight hug.

Smiling I quietly whisper into her ear, "Thank you Rose, I love you so much" and without thinking I kiss her cheek. As soon as I realise what I've done I move away from her and blush. "Erm was that, I mean was that okay?"

Rose smiles at me, leans in close to my cheek and kisses me, then moves away and says, "Of course it's okay! We've kissed each other's cheeks before, I told you, you being a lesbian won't make any difference to our friendship"

I smile and let out a light chuckle, I can't breathe properly, she's still really close next to my neck, and feeling her breath hit my weak spot makes me shiver. I think Rose notices this as she looks at me and smirks.

"I see your neck is still your weak spot" she smirks as she says this.

Gulping, I nod.

"Well what would happen if I was to do this" she asks, and then all of a sudden she's placing her head on my shoulder and her face is buried into my neck. Rose breathes in deeply and then lets it out, blowing cool air onto my neck.

I shiver in response, which makes Rose repeat this a couple of times. I try to push her off of me, but she wraps her arms around my waist and holds on. I can't take it anymore; I can't hold back the moan that's about escape.

Breathing heavily I say, "Rose please stop, otherwise …"

She lets out a chuckle against my neck and retorts, "Otherwise? Otherwise what Bella? Hmm … what are you going to do?"

Letting out a moan I say, "Please Rose, this is … this is making me …"

"Horny? Wet? Turning you on?" she lists out with her lips against the skin of my neck.

Feeling her lips actually touch my neck does me in. I can't take her teasing me anymore. I gather all my strength and push her off of me, jump off the bed and run into the ensuite bathroom and lock the door.

I sit down on the floor with my back against the door. I can't believe she would tease me like that. She can't do that, she can't make fun of me like that. It's not fair.

Rose bangs on the door, "Bella please I'm sorry. Please come out. I just … I didn't mean to make you angry it's just …" she mutters something, "Please Bella, just come out, I hate it when you're mad at me"

I can hear the remorse in her voice so I gradually get up and slowly unlock the door. As soon as Rose hears the lock unclick she barges in and hugs me while muttering over and over again "I'm sorry Bella, I'm sorry"

I let out a light chuckle and tell her "Its okay Rose, just don't tease me or make fun of me like that again okay?"

She nods her head rapidly, "Yes, okay"

I nod and say, "Okay, it's really late, I think we should head to bed, we have a lot of packing to do tomorrow for the upcoming holiday"

"Okay" Rose says as she lets go of me, "Night Bella"

"Night Rose" I reply whilst getting under my covers.

I toss and turn as I replay the feelings I felt when her lips were all over my neck. Oh god. Why did I make her stop? Closing my eyes I replay the scene over and over again in my head until sleep over takes me.

… … … … … … …

_Rose smiles at me, leans in close to my cheek and kisses me, then moves away and says, "Of course it's okay! We've kissed each other's cheeks before, I told you, you being a lesbian won't make any difference to our friendship"_

_I smile and let out a light chuckle, I can't breathe properly, she's still really close next to my neck, and feeling her breath hit my weak spot makes me shiver. I think Rose notices this as she looks at me and smirks. _

"_I see your neck is still your weak spot" she smirks as she says this. _

_Gulping, I nod. _

"_Well what would happen if I was to do this" she asks, and then all of a sudden she's placing her head on my shoulder and her face is buried into my neck. Rose breathes in deeply and then lets it out, blowing cool air onto my neck. _

_I shiver in response, so Rose repeats this a couple of times. I try to push her off of me, but she wraps her arms around my waist and holds on. I can't take it anymore; I can't hold back the moan that's about escape. _

_Breathing heavily I say, "Rose please stop, otherwise …"_

_She lets out a chuckle against my neck and retorts, "Otherwise? Otherwise what Bella? Hmm … what are you going to do?"_

_Letting out a moan I say, "Please Rose, this is … this is making me …"_

"_Horny? Wet? Turning you on?" she lists out with her lips against the skin of my neck._

_Whimpering I let out a slight moan, "Yes, yes Rose. You're making me wet, please stop teasing me Rose"_

"_I'm not teasing if I'm going to follow through baby" she whispers against my neck causing me to moan out her name. _

_Pulling away from my neck Rose turns me to face her and crashes her red luscious lips onto mine. Shock over takes me and I don't dare to move my lips against hers. But when Rose bites onto my lower lip I respond with eagerness, taking her lip in between mine. I nip at her bottom lip lightly making her whimper into my mouth. _

_Rose's hand travels to my hair; she pulls out the rubber band holding it in a bun and lets it all loose. Her other hand is on my neck, pushing me closer towards her. Both of my hands travel to her neck, pulling her into me, not allowing her to move. I pull away slightly to breathe but Rose grasps my hair and pulls it back, making my neck arch out as she kisses down it. Once she gets to where my shoulder and neck meet Rose bites down hard and then sucks the sting away, she does this a few times leaving a big hickey. _

_I moan out her name which causes her to start tugging at my top, trying to take it off. Helping her to get it off faster I whisper onto her lips "I'll take mine off if you take yours off"._

_She smirks and whips hers off, along with her bra, winking at me seductively she says, "Your turn now baby" _

_Grabbing my top I take it off and chuck it to the other side of the room, I guess I was taking too long as Rose reaches around me and undoes my clasp. My bra falls down my arms and Rose stares at my boob. Feeling self-conscious I cover them up, they're only B cups, not as big as Rose's D cups. _

_That's when I notice that her upper half is naked, and I stare greedily at her, trying to take it all in. Her full roundness, those D cups with rosy pink nipples which are standing out. I wonder if they could get harder. Without even thinking about it my hands cup both of her boobs, and I squeeze them very lightly. I rub my thumbs over both of her nipples and they harden under my touch. I get lost while playing with her boobs, it's only when Rose moans loudly that I realise what I'm doing. She looks down at me and pulls my head towards her nipples. _

_Panting, she says, "Lick, please lick them"_

_Oh god, I'm not going to turn down that offer. I stick my tongue out as I get closer to them and I kiss the right one, then I tentatively take my tongue out and give it a lick. When Rose moans in appreciation I take her nipple into my mouth and play around with it while my hand plays with her other boob. _

_After a while I take my mouth off of her and she lets out a groan, and pulls my head back. I push away from her and ask, "Doesn't the left one deserve some love?" _

_Rose nods her head quickly, "Yes, yes, yes"_

_I let out a giggle, and show the same affection to the left nipple as I did to the right. Soon I feel Rose pulling my head away as she collides her lips with mine. She pushes me back onto the bed and lies on top of me, aligning her hot centre with mine. Even through our clothing I can feel her heat. _

_Without pulling our lips away Rose moves her hand till she's cupping my boobs. Moving away from my mouth she crawls down my body till her lips are over my left boob. Smiling she makes show of taking her tongue out and circling my nipple. My back arches into her mouth, I grab hold of her hair, pushing her face into my boob. Not complaining Rose starts sucking as I writhe beneath her. I try to rub my thighs together for friction but her legs are in between mine. _

_She teases me for a while, switching between my left and right boobs, and I guess she takes mercy on me as I feel her knee rubbing against my crotch. Her knee rubs directly against my clit and I throw my head back in pleasure as I moan loudly, begging for me. _

"_Oh god, oh god, oh god Rose! Please don't stop, yes oh oh oh oh, I'm going to … Oh fuck" I moan out incoherently._

"_Yeah, you like that baby? You want to cum? Is that what you want? Scream out my name baby, and maybe I'll let you cum" she demands in a husky low voice. _

"_Yes please Rose … Oh .. jgsjK fuck please Rose! Please let me cum! Please … Oh oh oh oh"_

_Rose stops and I let out a whimper. But then she moves up my body until our wet hot centres are pressing onto each other. And then starts grinding down onto me. My hands travel to her ass, holding her onto me I thrust upwards as I push her ass down onto me making her scream._

"_Yes yes yes yes yes oh Bella! Fuck!" she whimpers into my ear._

_We grind down onto each other faster, our pace picking up as we get closer to our orgasms._

"_Oh Rose, Rose, Rose … I udhgafkh Please Rose! I need … Oh I need to … Rose Rose Rose … Oh god!" I whimper _

"_Bella oh god" _

"_Bella, Bella, Bella!"_

Someone shakes me and I jump up. Rose is standing next to me fully clothed and ready to go down for breakfast.

"Bella, what was wrong?!" she asks frantically, "I left just to go brush my hair and when I came back you were whimpering my name, did you have a nightmare?"

Oh god, oh god, oh god. I blush ten shades of red and nod, "Erm yeah, sorry, I didn't even know I was talking out loud. Sorry"

"Hey, it's fine! I've done it before. Anyways, hurry up and get ready, we need to get breakfast and start packing, we do have to leave in a couple of hours if we want to get home for dinner" Rose says as she walks back to the bathroom.

As soon as she's in the bathroom I fall back onto the bed. Oh god, that dream, I've never had one seem so realistic. Ugh. Rose has such great timing, I was so damn close. Fuck. Now I'm going to be horny all day.

Getting up I grab my clothes and head towards the bathroom.

Let's get this day over with.

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**I really do hope you guys liked this chapter, and enjoyed the lemon, it's my first fem-slash one so it's not great but I will get better through practise!  
Thank you so much to those of you who are reading this, I hope some of you guys leave reviews, it'd be nice to know whether I should bother carrying on or not :) **

**PS - I won't always be posting so frequently, I have loads of exams coming up so I will post whenever I get time to write for you guys :)**

**Much Love **

**JanoTwilight xo**


	3. Chapter 3

**I seriously cannot believe how many of you have read my first two chapters! And to those of you who have reviewed, well, thank you!  
I woke up this morning and had the urge to write so here we have chapter 3, there's no lemons in this one, it's more of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy it just the same :) **

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*Couple of hours later*

"Okay Rose, I think I'm done, I don't have anything else left to pack" I say while checking over the list I had made a few days ago. I make sure to double check it and look over the plugs in our dorm room, making sure they're all switched off. As I make my way back to my bed I realise Rose hasn't replied yet. She should have heard me; she's only in the bathroom.

Sighing I lift myself off my bed and trudge over towards the bathroom, knocking on the door I enter and lo and behold, Rose is sitting on the toilet seat texting. Great. She hasn't even noticed the fact that I'm standing next to her. She must be really into whomever she's texting. Wait, is it that girl she was raving on about the other night? The bodacious blonde? Looking down I notice that Rose has her legs crossed, as though she's trying to hold back the need to rub them against each other and her eyes are filled with … is that lust I see? Oh. I can't seem to control the hurt I'm feeling, my emotions are everywhere. Without thinking I grab her shoulder and give her a push, she's testing my patience too damn much and I can't deal with her right now.

I guess I didn't realise how much strength I used as Rose yelps when she hits the floor. She turns and glares, opening her mouth to shout at me. Before she utters a word I hold my hand up, glare back and quietly say "No. Don't. You should be packing up your stuff in here. We need to leave in at least 3 hours and I know you haven't packed anything, which means you're going to ask me to pack for you. And by the way that is _not _going to happen. So either be ready on time or I'll be leaving your skanky ass here" once I finish my piece I turn around and walk away.

I feel kind of smug; I left the great Rosalie Hale in shock, mouth agape and quiet. Normally she would boss me around and I'd do whatever she said but no, not today. I'm tired due to my lack of sleep and horny as hell due to the fact that she woke me up before I could reach my climax. Grabbing my suitcase off of my bed I place it near the door along with my backpack. It's not the greatest backpack, Rose keeps begging me to bin it and buy a new one. But I can't bare to part with it, Rose bought it for me the first year we met on my 12th birthday. I know that sounds stupid but I can't being sentimental.

Twisting my body around I turn to look at the clock, okay it's only 12, we have at least till 3pm, maybe 4pm if we were to push it. I sigh as I look over at Rose's side of the room, her clothes are everywhere, all over her bed and drawers, some of it hanging out of the suitcase. I don't want to be the one to do her work, so I hold myself back and go lay down on my bed.

After a few minutes Rose walks over to her suitcase and dumps in her toiletries. I close my eyes, trying to block out what she's doing. I just know she's huffing out loud and making a show of folding her clothes wrong so that I'll go help her. Sorry Rose, not this time baby.

Wait, baby? Did I just … in my thoughts? I … Wait what? Crap. Okay no need to freak out Bella; it was only once in your mind, it's okay. She doesn't know you called her that. Lost in my thoughts I didn't realise that Rose was near my bed until she fell on top of me.

"Oooff … Rose?" I ask breathlessly, what? She did just fall onto me. It's not because she's on me, okay maybe I'm slightly breathless due to her laying on top of me.

"Please Bella, please? I'm sorry about not packing earlier but I need your help. Pretty please?" Rose pleads looking at me.

I quickly close my eyes and look away. She knows her pout is lethal, at least on me. Rose knows that I'm trying to ignore her and she also knows that she's going to win. How? Since I've always lost and she's always won. I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

This is only confirmed when Rose sits up and climbs up on top of me and straddles my stomach. She grabs my head and forces me to turn and look at her. But I keep my eyes closed. No way am I giving up without a fight, nope, no way. However, Rose doesn't do anything, she's just sitting on me holding my head. I feel curious, why isn't she doing anything?

"Bellaaa" Rose sings, "You're going to have to open your eyes soon, you know as well as I do that I can and I will sit on you for hours hoe"

Shaking my head, I reply with, "No Rose, I'm not going to look, not without a fight"

I feel Rose's breath on my ear, she lets out a chuckle against my neck (cue a pleasurable shiver) and whispers, "Oh Bella, you've always been so stubborn, but we both know I get what I want, always. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, your choice"

Paralysed. That's how I feel. Oh god, oh god. She needs to get off of me. Last night's dream is replaying back in my head and now feeling her on top of me like this is not helping. Oh crap. I want to thrust my hips up slightly. Shit. No. Stop. Get up, now Bella! Without conscious thought I jump up, causing Rose to scream and fall onto the floor.

I leap off of the bed and stand next to her, "Oh shit! I'm sorry Rose! I didn't mean to push you off the bed! I was just … you know not the hard way and I wasn't thinking … and" I babble

Rose holds her hand up and glares at me before saying, "It is fine, that's twice now so you have to help me pack and all will be forgiven okay?"

I nod my head once, "Okay" I reply quietly.

"Good, now help me up hoe. We need to get started" she says while holding her hand up.

Grasping her hand I lift her up and pretend to fall over, jokingly I say, "God Rose, what have you been eating? You've gotten so damn heavy!"

Rose smirks at me and winks saying, "Oh wouldn't you like to know?"

My heart beats faster, I can feel myself blush, the heat from it radiating through my pale skin, as she struts towards me. As Rose reaches me her long finger trails down my cheek as she leans in close and whispers "You."

Rose walks away towards her bed as though she didn't just cause me to stop breathing. Turning around and noticing that I'm still frozen in the middle of the room she runs back towards me, grabs me and pulls me along with her until we're standing over her suitcase. She hands me a pile of clothes and then moves to her drawers.

"Come on Bella, we don't have long! Look, once you finish folding them just leave them on the bed, I'll put it away and you can go get food okay?" Rose says while pulling out everything from her underwear draw. I can't help but not stare. Rose buys ALL her lingerie from Ann Summers, and some of them are sexy as hell. She looks so gorgeous wearing them, trust me, I know because she drags me along with her and tries them all on. She says she needs her best friend's opinion and that this is what best friends are for. The weak guilt trip worked.

Rose holds the purple and black sheer lace teddy up in the air, examining it, it's my favourite one so far. Shit, fuck. I swear, god must have it out for me today. Wanting to leave as soon as possible I nod and start folding the piles of clothes.

Fifteen minutes later I'm done, all of Rose's clothes are in piles beside her suitcase. Rose is showering in the bathroom, so I knock on the door and shout, "I'm going for lunch Rose. I'll see you in an hour or so! I might head to the library for a while"

I don't wait for her reply as I speed out of the room.

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**This chapter, like I said before doesn't have any lemons, it's just a filler chapter. I will try to update soon but I hope you understand and can be patient if I don't due to my exams coming up soon. **

**Thank you so much, and please do leave a review, it would seriously mean a lot to me :) It doesn't have to be long, just maybe what you liked or even just a smiley :) **

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	4. AN 1

**AN:**

**Sorry guys, I did put an AN up a while ago but it obviously didn't work so I'm going to try again.**

**Basically I just wanted to thank you all for reading, following, fav-ing and reviewing my story so far! It seriously does mean a lot to me :)**

**Another thing I wanted to say was that I'll be updating only weekly from now on, so either Friday or Saturday, due to my exams. So the next update will be on Friday, I hope you all don't mind waiting :)**

**But I may from time to time post some one-shot smuts of Rose and Bella or even other characters :)**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys :) You don't know how happy I am that so many of you guys are reading my story! I love reading your reviews and I love replying to them so please leave some? :) **

**I apologise beforehand if you don't like how I've portrayed Edward in this chapter but don't worry, he will be apologising and end up becoming the Edward we know and love. So without further ado he's chapter 4 ...**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and the characters are not mine, I just get to play around with them from time to time. **

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*Campus Coffee Shop*

"Okay, that will be £4.50" the cashier says as he puts my food into a bag.

I pull out my debit card and hand it over to him, I am not in the mood to scavenge around for change in my purse, and I'm pretty sure the five other people behind me won't appreciate that either. As I walk to an empty table towards the back of the cafe the last girl in the line glares at me. Bitch. It's not my fault the guy serving me was slow, and more focused on my chest than my order.

Sitting down I pull out my phone, time to read some fan-fiction. Some of the authors are hilarious, and easily cheer me up with what they have the characters do or say. Halfway through my sandwich I notice a presence next to me. Looking up I see Edward smiling a 'Colgate' smile at me, I guess those braces he wore during year 8 really helped. His hair fell into his eyes so he slowly ran his fingers through the locks, pushing them back into place with the rest of the quiff, I guess he's cute. Edward leans forward, making his eyes smoulder and says, "Hi, I'm Edward"

I let out a snort since he reminds me of Rider from Tangled and the fact that I already know who he is. I've known him since we were 13 but I guess he doesn't remember, well who can blame him? I was a real ugly duckling, thank god for puberty, not that it has helped much but it'll do. Shit, he looks offended. Trying to back track I shake my head and apologise, "Oh shit, I'm sorry dude, I wasn't laughing at you, okay maybe I was but …" he looks even more hurt now, ugh crap.

"I guess I'll go" Edward says.

As he starts to rise up off his chair I grab his arm and pull him down, "No wait, let me explain, I was only laughing because you reminded me of Rider from Tangled, not because you're funny looking or anything, because you're not, you're what some girls describe as a Greek god" I babble.

Edward's laughter stops me from rambling. I guess I can see what girls like in him; he does look amazing with his head thrown back, mouth open wide as he lets out a couple of more chuckles.

His laughter slowly dies down and he raises his eyebrow, "So Bella, you think I look like a Greek god ay?"

"What? No. I said other girls say you do, not that I …"

Edward smirks and cuts me off, "No, I'm pretty sure you think that too, am I right? Or am I right?" he says while leaning back on his chair, arrogance wafting off of him as he looks me up and down. Gross.

Ugh. I guess Rose forgot to call him and tell him that I'm not into his kind. Best to do it now. Sighing, I look up at him and quietly say, "Look Edward, I'm sure you're a nice guy but I'm just not into you …"

He cuts me off again, "Look Bella, you don't need to play hard to get, I already want you, what more could you need or even want?"

Wow, he's really full of himself. Frowning at him I say, "No Edward. I don't want you or need you. You don't have what I want or need so please leave me alone because …"

And again I'm cut off by mister I know everything with a big ego, "No Bella, I have exactly what you need, it's okay to be afraid. Rose told me you haven't had sex in a while, its fine I'll go easy on you …"

Seriously? Seriously?! Just as I'm about to inform him that Rose is wrong he places his finger onto my lips and shushes me. The nerve of this guy! He does not have the right to shush me. Who does he think he is?! He is not the damn king, nor is he anyone important in my life. God he's still talking. The heck, why is his finger is still touching my lips?

Pushing his finger away I catch the last sentence he's saying, "We could go out for a dinner tonight and then back to my place to get you laid"

That is it. I've had it. All I wanted was to sit here and eat in peace whilst I read my fan-fiction stories. But no, this ass had to come over and ruin it.

Standing up I tower over him, making him shrink back into his seat. Taking all my frustration from today I work up the aggression and I shout, "SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP OKAY. I DON'T WANT YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU. WHATEVER ROSE SAID WAS WRONG. I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. NOT NOW. NOT EVER. DO YOU KNOW WHY?! DO YOU?!"

He shakes his head, his mouth agape in shock, eyes wide, a slight pink tinge adorning his cheeks and fists clenched. Guess this ass has never had a girl talk to him like this. But I do not care, not one bit, someone needs to put him in his place.

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING AN ASS. YOU'RE SO DAMN FULL OF YOURSELF, PROPOSITIONING ME LIKE THAT. AND EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T AN ASS I STILL WOULDN'T WANT YOU SINCE YOU DO _NOT_ HAVE WHAT I NEED, WHICH IS A VAGINA. DO YOU HAVE A VAGINA EDWARD?! DO YOU?!"

Edward looks completely embarrassed. Good. He shakes his head no and opens his mouth to say something. No chance shit-head.

Holding my hand up I shut him up. "NO YOU DO _NOT_ HAVE A VAGINA. SO I DO _NOT_ WANT YOU. NOW PLEASE, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND SHUT UP BEFORE I END UP JUNK-PUNCHING YOU"

Taking a deep breath in I grab all of my things and run out of the coffee shop. I shove my headphones into my ears, blasting music through them to try and calm myself down.

What a complete ass. He needed to be put in his place and I doubt any other girl was going to do it. Ass-lickers. I bet they'd lick his ass literally if they could. Trust me, I've heard them talking in the damn toilets about him. Apparently he makes them see stars. Laughable. I don't know how they can get past his huge head … Oh wait, they're the ones who suck it to make it bigger. Pun intended.

It's only once I'm at the traffic lights does it hit me what I just did. In public no less. Fuck. My. Life. Well I guess that news will spread quickly. Bella Swan is a lesbian. Oh well, at least I won't have to tell anyone and boys will leave me the hell alone, not that I got much attention from them before. You see, I'm one of those quiet girls who sits at the back of the class and rarely talks unless spoken to. I have plain brown hair and mud coloured eyes, I'm not exactly big in the ass or boob department either. So I tend to always go unnoticed with the male species, especially even more if Rose is around. Some people may hate that but for me it's just right, I don't really care for guys anyways.

Speaking of guys I hope Edward got the message. Cue mental face-palm. Obviously he got the message, I shouted at him in front of everyone asking if he had a vagina. Crap. Crap. Crap. Oh well, I bet Rose will get a kick out of this. Yep. I'll go tell her, she'll find it as funny as I do, well as I will do after the embarrassment wears off. With that in mind I stride back to our dorm as fast as I can. Walking up the steps I take a quick peek at my mobile, hmm it's only 13:20, I told her I'd be an hour, I've only been gone for half an hour. But that is not my fault.

Reaching our room door I put the key into the lock and twist it. I enter the room, placing my bag onto the table near the door as I grind and shake my hips to the beat of Ride by SoMo. Chuckling I say, "God Rose, you won't believe what just happened!"

Instead of Rose's voice I hear a scream and a yelp. Lifting my head up I pull my headphones out and see two sets of bodies tangled in the sheets of Rose's bed. Two blonde heads pop up over the covers; one is blushing whilst trying to hide into the other's chest. While the other blonde, my blonde, smiles at me as though I didn't interrupt anything and says, "Oh hey Bella, I thought you said an hour?"

I barely caught what she said, because seeing her holding onto that girl in bed, cuddling, kissing, having … having sex completely and utterly broke me inside. I could hear my heart crack, from the bottom all the way to the top, and then slowly shatter into its self. I couldn't stand to look at them. I needed to get out of here. Oh god, look at how happy she is with her, with someone who isn't me. Another piece of my already bleeding heart is destroyed.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I stutter out, "Erm no, sor…sorry I … er yeah. I erm came back to … erm grab my suitcase" and that's when it hit me, I could leave. Rose has her own car so she can drive herself back home. Grabbing my suitcase and backpack I turn away, leaving my heart on the floor, shattering even more with each step I take away from her. Opening the door I say, "I'm going now, I need to get home soon since Renee wants me there as soon as I can leave so I er need to go. You can drive over later yeah. Bye Rose" and then I slam the door shut.

I'm not sure how I make it to my car safely, or how I get all of my bags into the boot as my tears are blurring my vision. Sitting in the front seat I turn the ignition on and drive out of there.

Out of the place that they're happy in.

Out of my hell hole.

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**I really hope you all liked this chapter, please leave a review so I know for sure whether to carry on or to leave this story :) Next chapter will be posted next Friday! **

**Oh and a BIG BIG BIG thank you to those of you who have left reviews and have favourite-ed or followed this story or me, I really do appreciate it so much. I can't even express how much I do appreciate all of you :)**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Did you all know that you're _all _awesome?! Seriously, you've left reviews, and followed this story, followed me, fav'ed this story and some have even fav'ed me ... me?!  
I just wanted to express my gratitude again! It is so damn awesome when you leave reviews, I love reading and replying to them!  
****I can't reply to guest reviews so, let me just say a BIG thank you to those guest reviewers! Seriously, you guys are awesome as well!**

**Also, a few of you have been asking me to make longer chapters ... As much as I'd love to I just don't have the time guys. I should have time though after the 20th of June so perhaps then! But these chapters are over 1K long so I hope that for now that can be enough :) **

**And I hope you guys like this new chapter :) Tell me what you think**

**Disclaimer:** **The Twilight Saga and the characters of this saga are not mine. The creativity of all of this goes to Stephanie Meyer .  
However, luckily for me I can sometimes play around with her characters.**

* * *

*5 hours later … at home*

"Thanks mum, I really needed a good home cooked meal" I say as I clear the table. Piling the plates and then the utensils up on top I balance it all as I carefully walk to the sink and dump them in. Turning the faucet on the water hits against the curve of the spoon, spraying me with what feels like a bucket full of cold water.

"SHIT! Fu… Fudge!" I shout, fuck that was close, don't need a tongue lashing from Renee about how it's "unladylike" to swear. Been through that once and let me tell you, once was enough.

"Are you okay honey?" Renee shouts from the dining table.

"Yeah mum, I'm okay, it was the spoon again" I reply back as I turn the water off, move the spoons away and then turn the faucet back on.

"Ah okay" she says, she knows exactly what I mean since this always, and I mean _always_ happens to _me_, "And Isabella, what have we spoken about swearing, you know that it isn't proper young lady"

Great. Sighing I say, "I'm sorry mum, it just slipped out, won't happen again here I promise"

"Okay baby, you know I don't like having to lecture you, not at this age." She sighs before carrying on, "Oh honey it's just great to have you home after not seeing you for three months. We've missed you so much; you should have visited during a weekend. It has been so quiet and horrible ever since you left us" Renee says, laying the guilt trip on thickly.

As though I left them on purpose, okay sure I could have gone to university here in Leicester but I wanted a change and a chance to be independent away from their watchful eyes. But they did encourage me to leave, to go find my own life, be an independent "woman". Psht woman, I am not a woman, more like a man _in_ a woman's body. I love to lounge around in big baggy hoodies that drown my body completely; I love veg-ing out on the couch in front of the television. Leaving my hair in a messy bun when it's greasy and I can't be bothered to wash it at that point in time. When I eat I end up dropping food on my clothes or a lot of it ends up around my mouth. I do act better in public but when I'm at home well, let's just say Rose scrunches her nose up at me and complains all the damn time. But then again she can't say much to me either because she does the same thing, only less messy than me.

Snickering quietly I place the dishes into the dishwasher as I catch the tail end of what Renee is saying, "Soon you'll have your own life and you'll forget completely about us, and we'll end up in one of those horrible care homes that they do documents or programmes on."

Thanks mum, make me feel like crap why don't you? Instead of saying what I wanted to say I place the last dish from the sink into the dishwasher and I walk towards the dining room looking at Charlie and say, "Dad, _please_ explain to mum that my course is quite difficult and my weekends are spent in the library catching up and doing assignments"

"Now Bella, you know your mum just misses you. Both of us do, you should visit more often" Charlie says whilst scraping his last forkful of mash potatoes with gravy into his mouth.

I can't help but stare at the little piece of potato that is stuck to his moustache. I'm not sure why it fascinates me so much, it keeps moving up and down every time he chews. Shaking my head to clear it I sigh and accept my defeat as I agree, "Fine, I'll try, okay?"

"Good, now why don't you go shower and meet us downstairs to watch a movie of your choice? Like how we used to when you were a child?" Renee asks with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

God, they must have really missed me. Nodding my head I excuse myself to go upstairs. Grabbing my toiletries I head into the bathroom. Thankfully Renee remembered to leave extra clean towels under the sink. After checking that everything is there I get into the shower stall and let the cold water blast me, washing away all of today's grime and dirt, hopefully with my emotions.

… … … … … … … … … …

Watching the movie curled up in Charlie's arm chair with a blanket tucked around my body reminds me of when I was younger, much younger, being about 7 years old. Me, Renee and Charlie would all sit down, cuddled on the big sofa with popcorn and watch movies every Friday night after eating dinner.

Why couldn't I be a small innocent child again; with no worries, or stress, or drama in life? Why can't I get rid of my feelings for Rose, so that we're just friends, and so that nothing has to be complicated? Why couldn't she just be attracted to me? Oh wait, I know why, it's because I'm not beautiful or pretty enough, nor am I curvy enough for her. I'm just not enough. Never enough.

Great going Bella, you've just twisted the knife some more that's taken up home in your heart. Sighing as the credits roll on the television I get up and stretch, letting out a loud fake yawn. I just want to get into bed and forget that today even occurred.

Just as I knew she would Renee looks up at me, and flicks her head towards the stairs saying, "Why don't you head off to bed? You must be tired, you drove for four hours to get here. We'll see you in the morning baby, night"

Nodding my head I reply, "Okay mum, night dad."

Not waiting for a reply I run up the steps two at a time, running towards my room. I slam the door shut once I'm inside and dive onto my bed. Once I'm under the covers as comfortable as I can be, I reach over onto my bedside table for my phone. Switching it on I see I have a voicemail and a whole load of texts, all from Rose.

Debating with myself I finally decide to see what she has to say, opting to read the texts first as they were sent before the voicemail …

"**Hey chick, you left so quickly that I couldn't say bye or ask you to wait for me! What was that about? Anyways I'll see you tomorrow when my family comes over for dinner, see you soon hoe xo" – 2pm**

"**Oi hoe, just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving now, and I wanted to thank you for helping me out earlier today, because if you didn't, well I don't know what I would've done xo" – 4pm **

Not have been fucking that skank for sure. Why couldn't I just say no? But no, I had to give in and help her. If I hadn't helped her she would have been stuck packing instead of bumping uglies with that cow. What ifs aren't going to help me now though.

"**I'm home! Back in loser-town where there's nothing to do :') But I'm glad we're back, I've missed this place, chat soon okay? xo" – 8.05pm**

Not if I have anything to say about it hoe.

"**Why aren't you answering my texts?! xo" – 8.30pm**

"**Oii hoe! Answer me!" – 8.40pm**

"**Bella! Skank face! Answer me." – 8.43pm**

"**Oi you vagina, stop ignoring me" – 8.45pm**

Classy.

"**Bella" – 8.51pm**

"**Belly-button please" – 8.55pm**

Belly-button? She hasn't called me that in years. She promised to never call me that if I stopped calling her Rosie Posie. I remember us arguing over nicknames outside of the school gates. We didn't realise anyone else was there until we heard a guy's laugh. It made us both stop and turn, but he was already walking off.

The next day when my tutor called my name for registration someone coughed out "Belly-button" and then someone else did the same, till the whole class was in hysterics. Oh god, I remember being 50 shades of red as I ran out of the classroom and into the toilets. It wasn't until Rose came in did I leave the cubicle. She hugged me and told me that she had made it all better, and that no one would ever call me that again. Including her if I stopped using her nickname.

And true to her word, no one did call me that again. I still wonder to this day what she did or said. Rose can be a force to reckon with when she's angry.

"**Bella, I'm sorry for whatever I've done to upset you, please answer me" – 9.05pm**

"**Fine. I get the hint." – 9.25pm**

Dammit. She wasn't supposed to be the one who's angry. I'm supposed to be angry with her! She always does this; she tends to turn it around until I forget why I was angry or upset with her. Rose knows exactly what she's doing and how to play me. I wish she didn't hold this power over me. I wish I didn't care. I wish I fell for someone else. I wish she would just love me the way I love her. I wish …

I wish …

I wish for so many things that I know will never happen.

Holding back the tears in my eyes I listen to her voicemail …

"**Bella, I don't know if you're actually busy or if you're ignoring me but please answer me soon. Are you embarrassed by earlier today? If so please don't be, I should have left a hair band on the door handle so that you knew I had company, but I thought you'd be gone an hour. Please Bella, forgive me? And don't be embarrassed? **

***Rose coughs***

***A loud sigh is let out***

A minute passes and I think that's the end, but then I hear a light chuckle …

**Oh and I heard what you said to Edward … Oh god, that must have been hilarious to watch! I can just imagine you, hand on your hip and finger wagging in his face! *she laughs* I wish I had seen that. Is that what you wanted to tell me earlier today when you came into the room? **

**Anyways Bella, I really hope you talk to me soon, I'll see you tomorrow so you can't hide forever. Night … mwah baby gurrl, love you." – 10.00pm **

I can't hold back the tears anymore.

My feelings for her are overwhelming me completely.

The frustration, anger, pain and hurt from today is catching up, it's taking a toll on my body having to hold it all back.

So I finally let the sobs wrack my frame as I muffle my cries with a pillow.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading and I hope you liked this chapter :)  
Please leave a review if you can, it would seriously mean a lot to me and come back next week for another chapter? Maybe? **

**I****f you do you'll get a cookie ;) Just kidding, I can't give you a cookie because they wouldn't be fresh by the time you got them overseas! I can't believe I have people reading this from ALL over the world, it still shocks and amazes me :) SO thank you**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	7. Chapter 7

**You guys are the best, I don't care that I've said this loads because you seriously are the best. I can't believe that my fanfic has gotten 42 reviews?! 83 follows?! And 33 favourites?! Like, what the shemurr?! What up Superwoman reference!  
(If you do not know who superwoman is I don't even know what to say to you) I'm kidding! But seriously you should go check out her videos on YouTube, she's bloody hilarious and never fails to make me laugh! Her name on YouTube is IISuperwomanII and comment that I sent you? Pretty please?  
But seriously though do check her out guys! **

**Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's my longest one yet so I hope it satisfies some of you for a week ;) :) **

**I just want to say thank you to all of you who have left reviews, I'm being a 100% serious and genuine when I say that I didn't feel like writing but then a few reviews came in asking for more and saying they really liked the story so that put me into the mood to write! SO THANK YOU to those of you who leave reviews!**

**Oh and yes I know it's only Thursday, but I really want to know what you all think so that's why I'm updating today instead of tomorrow, aren't I nice? ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine, they belong to SM, but luckily I can play around with them ;) **

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*Next day, 2.30pm*

"Bella honey, can you go down to the cellar and get another bottle of white wine please?" Renee asks me as she gossips with Mrs Hale.

"Sure mum, anything else?" I ask, because knowing her she'll ask me to go back down again in a few minutes.

"Erm … no." she replies

Just as I walk out the dining room door she calls me back, "Oh actually Bella, your dad will need more beer, so can you get a box of them out of the fridge in the cellar? I forgot to bring them up this morning"

"Okay mum, but…"

I'm cut off as Rose jumps in saying, "I'll help, she won't be able to bring the wine bottle and the beer box completely unharmed" and then she chuckles a light musical laugh.

Bloody hell. Why?! I've been able to ignore her for the past hour and a half with only a "hey" and "how are you".

Turning around I nod, and give her a fake smile. Rose sees right through it. Her bitch brow is up and her nose is twitching slightly. I've seen that look before, and she's only ever given it to me once, normally it's directed towards other people. So this could only mean she's going to call me out on my bull-shit. Great. Just great.

Briskly walking down the passage I turn right to open the door underneath the staircase. Darkness envelopes the stairs down to the cellar, so I have to hold onto the dusty railing to guide me down. And just because the universe seems to have it out for me I trip over my own feet and nearly fall head first down the flight of stairs. And because god also has it out for me, Rose is the one to grab the back of my shirt and pull me upright.

Without turning around I mumble, "Thanks".

"No problem" is Rose's reply; it has a slight edge to it causing me to give a slight shudder in fear.

Trust me when I say that when Rose is angry, well, you best go to church and pray that it isn't at you. I don't care if you're not religious, you go and sit your ass down in a holy place and pray. Pray for your life because her anger could give a girl who is PMS-ing a run for her money. Seriously. I am not joking.

Once reaching the bottom I open the cellar door and let out a cough as I inhale some dust. Before I can reach for the light switch Rose has already switched it on, causing the room to be bathed in a soft yellow glow. Not looking at her, I flick my head towards the fridge in the corner as I walk to where my parents keep their good wine.

"I know where the beer is Bella. Or have you forgotten how we used to steal some from Charlie's stash when I slept over?" Rose states with irritation creeping into her voice.

With the wine in my hand I turn around and look up at her. She's holding the box of beer, staring at me, watching my every move. Her eyes are inquisitive; she's calculating how to approach the situation that I've put us in. Rose's nose twitches, and she lets out a loud sigh, I don't even know why she does that, it's not like I've said nor done anything outrageous since we've been down here.

"I remember" I reply quietly gazing at the floor, because I know she's going to blow any minute now.

Rose's heels click clack against the old, rotten, wooden floorboards, stopping only a few inches from me. A large thump rings throughout the small room as she places the box of beer down onto the floor. I stand still holding onto the wine bottle tightly till my knuckles are white, scared to move. Scared of her reaction; scared that I might cry any second; scared of my feelings for her. Just afraid. But she doesn't do or say anything.

And then her hand comes into my line of vision and I flinch, I know she wouldn't ever harm me but I still flinch. I've seen her pack a punch before, and I ended up passing out because of the blood gushing from the guy's nose. However, instead of hitting me she grasps my fingers that are around the wine bottle, and pulls them away from it, taking the bottle from me and placing it on the floor next to the beer box. Then we stand in silence again.

Complete and utter silence in the room with the exception of our breathing.

Until she moves closer to me. How do I know this? I can smell her perfume, her body lotion that she uses. It smells beautiful, smells like apples. Not sour or like cider but similar to those rosy apple sweets that we used to buy.

I hate ignoring her. I miss her. I know it's only been a couple of hours but I can't take it. We've always spoken every day since we were 11. Even when we used to argue we would end up making up on that same night because neither of us could ignore each other. She's literally my soul mate, she understands me like no one else does, she knows when I'm upset just by looking at me or even just by a text. We've always been there for each other. And ignoring her like this is killing me inside, but seeing what I saw yesterday hurts just as much, if not more. I feel so confused; I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to apologise and make up, so that everything can go back to normal but another part of me wants her to see how hurt I am, how she can't just use and play me.

Lost in my thoughts I don't realise that Rose is calling me, "Bella, Bella, Bella … BELLA!" she shouts as she shakes my shoulders.

"Huh? What?" I reply in a haze.

"Bella, the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you ignoring me?! What have I done?! Why are you so upset with me? I don't understand. Why are you being so horrible? Can you at least tell me why I'm getting the silent slash ignore treatment?!" Rose rushes out in anger.

"No." I reply without thinking. Crap. Shit. Fuck.

"No?" Rose says slightly shocked. "No? Did you just say no?" she asks me, more aware now since what I just said has sunk in. Her eyes cloud over with anger mixed with a hint of pain. Rose purses her lips, then sucks them into her mouth as she hmms over my response. Nodding her head once she replies with an "okay" and then bends down, grabs the beer and leaves.

Well shit. I obviously just had to make everything worse. Grabbing the wine I switch the light off and head back up the stairs towards the dining room. As I enter the room I notice that everyone has left and moved, so I go into the kitchen to pick up the cork screw and then head for the living room. Loud laughter rings from inside, well they all seem to be having a great time. Entering the room I notice that we have visitors, Billy Black and his family to be exact. Great.

It's not that I don't like them, I do, they're actually quite nice, and Charlie's been friends with Billy ever since they were kids. But the problem is Jake, their son; he's one of _those _boys. The charmer, the handsome one, the sweet talker, the player, the douche-bag. He goes for everything that has a pulse and is female. So naturally he went after Rose, who stringed him along, then finally gave in and they had sex. And let's just say Jake's been trying to get her into bed again, now that's a BIG deal since he never goes back for seconds.

Looking over to the corner of the room I notice that Rose is laughing with her hand on Jake's shoulder, and he's smirking as though he's won the lottery. And to be quite honest, he has. I mean, he has Rose throwing her head back in laughter whilst she's touching his shoulder, a massive smile adorning her face which speaks volumes all by itself. That smile she's giving him is the "I'm horny and you're getting lucky tonight smile", it's her flirty smile. The one she uses in clubs, the one she uses to pick up guys or girls, the one that has never and will never be aimed at me.

Sighing as my heart cracks slightly I turn to hand over the wine to Renee. Rotating back round to look at Rose and Jake once more I hear Renee calling my name, "Bella, Alice called while you were downstairs, her plane has landed and she should be home by 5, she said that she'd call you once she has her bags so that you guys can make plans?"

The smile that lit up my face could rival the sun and the happiness that I'm feeling right now literally wants to burst out of me.

Jumping up once I face Renee and say, "But I thought she wasn't coming back this Christmas? I mean what? Didn't she say she'd be here during Easter? Oh god mum this is the best news ever!" I shout the last part, causing Rose to glance over at me and making Jake give me a weird look.

Renee smiles at me, she knows how close me and Alice are, and we have been since we were born. You see, Alice's mum and my mum have been best-friends since they were young, so naturally me and Alice became best-friends because we were always put together. The funny thing is, Alice's mum was hoping for a boy so that they could set us up with each other but instead she got, well Alice.

Alice is the girliest girl you could ever meet; she's been in New York since last summer, trying to climb the fashion ladder. She's this short little sprite with black hair, large blue eyes with naturally long curled lashes, and really petite. Alice is beautiful, and the nicest person you'll ever meet, she's the complete opposite of Rose. Except that she's also outgoing and quite loud.

Speaking of Rose, she's walked over and is standing next to me, "What's going on? Who's coming over Renee?" she asks Renee sweetly.

"Oh, nothing much dear, I just told Bella that Alice is coming over later tonight, she and Bella are making plans. You should go with them Rose" Renee says, not realising that Rose and Alice barely get along for my sake.

"Oh isn't that lovely, ay Bella? I'd _love_ to tag along but I wouldn't want to be the third wheel, and anyways, I have some plans of my own" Rose replies to Renee but she's staring at me with a sickly sweet smile. She looks back over to Jacob and gives him a wink. Well, she's getting some tonight too … Wooo. Isn't that great?

I know what Rose is doing, she's going to act like nothing happened and be mean to me for a while. Basically Rose is going to hurt me subtly because I hurt her. I can't believe her. Why does she have to be so childish for?

_Oh, and you're not childish? _

No, I'm not, I'm just tired of getting hurt.

_Yes, but you're ignoring her, that's not going to fix anything._

But I can't be bothered to deal with it right now. I just need some time to sort myself out first. Why does she have to be so … so infuriating?!

_That's one of the things you love about her though. _

I know.

The phone ringing brings me back to reality. Great, I was talking to myself, how much crazier can I become?

"BELLA!" Charlie shouts from the passage, "It's for you, it's Alice"

"Coming!" I shout back as I run out of the room. Snatching the phone from Charlie's hand I sprint into the dining room for some privacy. From the corner of my eye I see a shadow near the doorway, but it's gone as soon as I turn around.

"ALICE!" I shout down the phone.

"BELLA!"

"Oh god Alice I've missed you so much, I can't believe you're here! I thought you said you weren't coming down till Easter?! What happened? What made you change your mind? How long are you going to be down for? Are you going to still be here after New Year's Day?! I missed you so much! Answer my questions!" I ask all in one breath.

"Wow Bella breathe, and give me a chance to speak, and to answer your questions, I know I said I wouldn't be coming down but I missed everyone back home, also what made me change my mind was the fact that my boss said I could have a couple of weeks off since I've been working all day and night for him. So yes I'll still be here New Year's Day, and maybe a few days after that. AND I MISSED YOU SO MUCH TOO"

"Aaahhh this is so amazing Alice, we really need to catch up and just talk"

"I know, so I was thinking, how about you come over to my parents place, and we could have a night in watching movies, eating pizza and catching up?"

"That's perfect! What time do you want me there for? What should I bring?"

"Erm … say for about 6.30? I need to shower and change, and hmm just yourself in your pyjamas, oh and bring some of Charlie's beer, my parents don't have any"

"Won't they mind that we're drinking? I know we're legal but your parents are kind of iffy about things like this"

"Nah, they're not in today, or tommorrow, or the day after, not till after next week since they didn't know that I was coming back"

"Oh yeah, they went on that couples cruise right?"

"Yeah, anyways, I need to get home so I'll see you in a couple of hours yes?"

"Deffo! See you soon Alice, love you"

"Love you too! Bye"

Smiling and feeling the happiest I've felt in days I place the phone back and head into the living room. Walking over to Renee I say, "Mum, I'm going to be staying over at Alice's tonight, I should be back tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

Renee nods her head and replies, "Yes that's fine baby, tell Mr and Mrs Cullen I said hello"

Shaking my head, I say, "Mum, they've gone on that couples cruise remember? They won't be back till next week"

"Oh dear I completely forgot about that, what is Alice going to do? She can't stay by herself all week can she?"

Rolling my eyes I say, "Mum, she's been staying in New York alone for over a year now, I'm pretty sure she can stay a few days at home alone"

Renee shakes her head, "Very well, but you tell Alice that she's welcome over here for breakfast, lunch and dinner if she doesn't want to eat alone"

"Kay mum" I reply as I walk towards the door, "I'm going to go change and shower, I probably won't say bye before I leave so bye mum" turning to Charlie I shout out, "Bye dad!"

Charlie lets out a grunt and nods his head; he's too engrossed with the game on the television to reply like a normal human being.

As I'm walking up the stairs I hear a moan which causes me to stop, and then a masculine voice says, "Come on Rose, let's go"

"Mmm, Jake, you've got to let go of my arse first", I hear Rose reply huskily.

"Fine, but once we get home later tonight your ass belongs to me" Jake replies with a slight possessive edge to his tone.

Rose wouldn't ever let a man do that to her, not unless she allowed him and even then she'd end up being in control. So I feel surprise run through me as she says, "Okay, now let's go and get this night started"

After another giggle and moan I hear the front door slam shut.

I can feel myself starting to overthink, I can feel the dull ache in my chest intensifying, and I can feel the tears swimming in my eyes, ready to fall at a moment's notice. But then I remember Alice, my little free-spirited friend, and everything gets pushed to the back of my mind.

With the thoughts of the fun me and Alice are going to have tonight I walk up to my room smiling.

* * *

**So what did you all think? What do you think of Rose's behaviour towards Bella and how she's flirting with Jake? Do you think Bella is being childish and selfish?  
****Leave me your answers in the reviews? Please? **

**You don't have to answer, but it'd be nice to know that I still have readers who genuinely want me to update :) **

**See you all next Friday (not Thursday, today was a one off)! **

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, you ALL are awesome okay. Seriously I cannot believe how many views this fanfic has and how many of you follow/favourite it. So from the bottom of my heart thank you :) AND THANK YOU TO THE REVIEWERS! I LOVE READING YOUR REVIEWS/COMMENTS, makes my bloody day!**

**I really hope you like this chapter, it's more of a filler. I wasn't going to update this week because of revision and I hadn't even written the chapter but I ended up sitting down this evening and well ... this happened ... enjoy :)**

**DISCLAIMER: These are not my characters, the creativity of coming up with them goes to SM. However, fortunately I can play around with them ;)**

* * *

*9.00pm*

"Alice stop it, I seriously have no one in my life at the moment! Why won't you b…b…be…be-lieve … m … meeee" I squeal as Alice sits on top of my stomach, holding my body down as she tickles me.

She shakes her head, making her short pixie locks to twirl around her pale face, "I do not believe you one tiny bit Bella my ticklish friend"

Trying to push her off I wheeze, she's tiny but I can't breathe with her on me. Taking a deep breath in I pant out, "W…wh…Oh… why?!"

Laughing at my inability to breathe she gets off of my stomach and lays down next to me, "Because, you're too pretty to be single" She says in a tone that screams 'duh', as though I should have easily realised that.

Before I even think about it I let out a loud scoff. And now Alice is glaring at me. Great.

"Don't you dare scoff at that fact Isabella Marie Swan!" she huffs.

Damn, she must be really annoyed; Alice barely ever three names me.

"I'm sorry Alice, it's just, I don't see it. And if I can't see it then it must be true …" Alice opens her mouth to interrupt me but I hold my finger up, asking for a minute before continuing to ramble out "It must be true Alice, it's actually proven scientifically that we see ourselves as 5% more prettier than we actually are. So if I see myself as average then I must be less than that. Oh god, can you imagine how Leonardo DiCaprio must see himself?! Or how Jennifer Lawrence must see herself?! She's gorgeously beautiful as it is but … wow … Oooohh what about Emma Watson? Or Emma Stone?!"

Lost in thought about my girl crushes I don't realise that Alice has gone into the room connected to hers, which is her studio. It's only when I can feel a little bit of drool pooling near the corner of my mouth do I snap it shut, whilst rubbing the back of my hand over my mouth just in case some of it dripped out without me noticing. Hearing a big thud from the next room makes me jump up and run, shouting for Alice.

Skidding on the laminated wooden floor boards I grab the corner of a draw and laugh at what I find. Alice is on the floor with one of her mannequins on top of her, and clothes scattered all around them.

Looking up at me she huffs and says, "Funny. Laugh it up. But help me up first please?"

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard over something so stupid, but all I know is that it feels so amazing to laugh out loud a full belly laugh, right from the core. My hands are grasping my knees as I'm bent over guffawing. Letting out a few more chuckles I gradually walk over to Alice's outstretched hand, pushing the mannequin off from on top of her I pull her up.

"Ouch!" I shout as Alice's palm connects (quite roughly I must add) with my butt. "What was that for?!" I ask as I rub the sore spot.

"Hmph. That's for laughing at me for a full 5 minutes" she sniffs.

"Wait what? Don't exaggerate! It was only a full minute!" I say as I poke her arm, making Alice let out another huff.

"Whatever. You could have at least helped me up first and then laughed" Alice states in a huff, she walks away from me to go fix the scattered clothing still lying on the floor.

"Aw Alice, I'm sorry" I apologise; I don't need her upset with me too.

"Whatever" is her response.

Now I feel really bad, I don't even know if she's actually upset or if she's joking around with me. Normally I'd carry on making fun of her but tonight I can't seem to be able to tell right from wrong let alone whether she's joking or not.

Trying to get back into her good books I start helping her. We fix her mannequin and pick the clothes up in silence. That is until I'm bending over to pick up the last item, a scarf, when out of nowhere Alice jumps onto my back laughing.

"Did you actually think I was genuinely annoyed?!" she laughs

"Yeah" I reply

Alice's laughter stops when she realises that I'm being serious. Hopping off of my back she turns me by my shoulders to face her and looks into my eyes. I feel self-conscious so I gaze down at the floor. It makes me completely uncomfortable when someone stares straight into my eyes, I feel as though they can see all my flaws, all my emotions, all my thoughts. It unnerves me.

Noticing the fact that I'm uncomfortable Alice stops staring and pulls me by my hand towards the back of the room, after walking past the mannequins, and clothing we reach the end of the room. I've never been to this part; I rarely come in this room because Alice doesn't like being disturbed whilst working. So seeing what was at the end causes me to gasp in surprise. The whole back "wall" is not a wall really, just a mirror, like the ones you would find in dance studios.

"Alice, wow! This is beautiful, but why did you want to show me a mirror?" I ask staring at the mirror in confusion.

"I want to show you something beautiful" Alice replies.

"Oh … Okay, go on then"

"We need to get closer" Alice says whilst pulling me along to walk beside her until we were only a few inches away from the mirror.

"So … Are you going to show me?" I ask Alice.

"You're looking at it" is Alice's response

Confusion colours my face, and my stupidity causes me to ask, "So you're the beautiful thing I'm supposed to look at?"

Alice's eyebrows rise till they're barely visible under her fringe. She face-palms herself and then shakes her head whilst mumbling about stupid friends. The heck is up with her? Turning to look at me she forces out a smile and then out of nowhere slaps me. She slaps me on the cheek. Holding my cheek I turn to look at her, anger, shock and hurt running through me.

"THE ACTUAL FUCK ALICE?!" I scream at her.

Alice smiles, takes a deep breath in and quietly says, "I'm sorry for slapping you but you Bella, you are testing my patience today. A lot. Now shut up and listen to me. If you dare interrupt I will hit you harder. So please, don't make me do that okay?"

I nod my head once to show her I'm listening.

Smiling brightly at me she turns my whole body to face the mirror, and begins, "Now, what I wanted to show you, the beautiful something I wanted to show you is you…"

Before I could interrupt with a noise of disagreement Alice raises her hand and seeing that shuts me up immediately.

"Now, as I was saying, Bella I want you to look at yourself in that mirror and see yourself for who you truly are. Take off your damn blurry, dirty, ugly goggles that you use to see yourself with and instead use your own eyes to see the beauty we all see when we look at you."

I raise my eyebrow at her, but she raises both her brows at me. So I do what I know will make her smile, I pretend to take my goggles off and place them on the floor. Alice tops me by pretending to pick a hammer up and smashes the make believe goggles; which makes us both snicker at our childishness. She nods at me and flicks her head slightly towards the mirror, so I take the hint and face myself. And I see all the flaws, loud and clear, I see all the things I hate about me and I sigh.

Alice clears her throat and says, "I know what's going through your head Bella, I know you're seeing all your flaws. But I'm here to show you that you're wrong. Look at yourself. Carry on staring. And let me show you"

She pulls my hair out of my bun and runs her fingers through it, "Your hair Bella, god, I'd kill to have hair like yours, it's beautifully long with slight waves and the ends are a touch curled, it's a gorgeous mahogany colour with natural red highlights. Do you know how many women go to the hairdressers to style their hair like this while you have it naturally?!"

Next she holds my chin with one hand and traces a finger down from my eyes, to my nose and over my lips, "Bella, you have beautiful doe shaped eyes, and yes they're brown but they're a lovely chocolate brown with flecks of gold near the iris, your lashes are dark and long, you don't even have to wear mascara. You have cute button nose that suits your face shape exactly, and your mouth? Your bottom lip is slightly plumper than the upper one, and that's something a lot of women want. Also, they're not even unevenly coloured, they're both the same shade, making it look like as though you're always wearing lipstick"

She stands behind me but pokes her head out around my right arm and traces my outer body shape, "Bella, you have average, normal sized shoulders, they're not too small and not too broad. Your boobs have a natural perkiness because they're full B cups, you don't even have to wear bra and they'll still stay perky. Also they're big enough to be noticeable but not too big that you can't wear certain tops. You have a tiny waist and then hips that flare out just the right amount for your body shape. And your legs? They're gorgeously curved"

Alice turns me so I'm facing the mirror with my left side, and she points to my butt, "Bella, girl, you have some junk in your trunk, it's not lots but it's a good handful" as she says this Alice grabs both of my ass cheeks and gives them a squeeze making me yelp in surprise. "What I'm trying to say is that your body is exactly right for you. You are perfect just the way you are."

"And not only that, you're beautiful inside as well. Even if you weren't exactly what people seem to think is "sexy" I'd still see you as beautiful Bella. And no, it's not because I'm your best friend, but it's because your inside, your inside shines. You're completely and utterly a genuinely nice person. Bella, you're always there for those you love, you would drop everything to be there for someone. You're friendly, kind, generous, and you're not judgemental. Yes you can be moody, negative, and cynical but isn't everyone from time to time? You love with all your heart and you do everything to the best of your ability. Now I'm not saying you have no flaws, because that would be a lie. The thing is, everyone has flaws, and everyone has things they hate or dislike about themselves. However, if we always focused on the hate, on the negativity we would get nowhere in life. We wouldn't be living, we'd just be existing ... Look, what I'm trying to say is that you are good enough and always have been good enough. I just don't understand why you can't see that Bella."

Tears gather in my eyes as I look at my pixie like friend. She's still talking, trying to convince me that I am good enough. And why shouldn't I believe her? She's gone through so much trouble to make me understand and see what she sees, so why should I let all that go to waste? I know I won't get her attention by calling her name; she's way too much concentrated on what she's saying, so instead I grab her and hug her tightly.

"Thank you Alice. Thank you" I say into her hair.

I guess she's shocked as her arms are still hanging limply by her sides.

"It's my pleasure silly!" Alice replies as she wraps her arms around my waist.

And then she tickles my sides, causing me to yelp and push her away, and run out the room into her bedroom. Alice hot on my heels, she jumps over the bed and corners me. I curl into a ball and try to crawl as far as I can into the corner.

"Please, Alice please, don't, you know I'm really ticklish and I won't be responsible for my actions if I end up karate kicking you" I plead, hoping that will make her stop.

And apparently luck is on my side tonight as Alice does stop. She hmm's and then plops down next to me, looking at me expectantly.

"What?" I ask

Alice smirks, "Don't what me skank. Sooo tell me, who are you seeing?"

Huffing I reply, "Really? This again? I told you I'm not seeing anyone Alice!"

Alice carries on smiling, "Yeah, and I told you I don't believe your bullshit"

I huff and sigh in frustration, "Seriously Alice, there's no one!"

Alice doesn't stop smiling, which causes irritation to build inside of me, "Okay fine, maybe there is no one you're seeing at the moment, but tell me who the lucky girl is that you like?"

"Alice, there is no girl I like"

"Not even a Rose … ?"

I shake my head … And then it hits me … She said girl?! How … What … Huh … How does Alice know?! No one knew except me and Rose, and now the rest of the campus at university but Alice hasn't been here since summer.

WAIT …

ROSE?!

DID SHE SAY ROSE?!

OR AM I HEARING THINGS?!

I turn to look at her and Alice has the biggest shit eating grin on her face.

However as soon as she sees the expression on my face her grin turns into a smirk and she shouts, "HA! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! ALICE KNEW! ALICE WAS RIGHT! WHY IS ALICE SHOUTING IN THIRD PERSON?! OH WHO CARES! I WAS RIGHT" Alice jumps up and does a little booty shake, waving her arms around like as though she's swatting flies. Normally seeing that would make me laugh but right now I'm so confused that I don't even care that Alice is shaking her ass in my face.

Abruptly standing up I grab Alice's arm and pull it behind her back whilst pushing her front against the wall. She screams in shock but carries on doing her booty dance.

"ALICE! STOP IT! WHO TOLD YOU?! HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?!" I shout near her ear.

"LET GO OF ME AND MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU ONCE I GET MY HEARING BACK BITCH!"

I tighten my hold on her arm, causing her to yelp, "No, if I let you go you _will _tell me, comprende?"

"FINE" says Alice as she relents.

"Good" I reply.

"Bitch" mumbles Alice, but I choose to ignore her. I have more pressing matters to address, like how did Alice find out? And how did she know that I love Rose?

Questions will be answered tonight.

* * *

**So I hope you liked this chapter?  
Like I said before, I wrote this chapter this evening just for you guys, so there maybe mistakes or grammatical errors, I apologise for that. My fanfic isn't beta'd either.**

**What I also want to point out is that outer beauty doesn't always matter, I know I focused a lot on what Bella looks like but I wanted to describe her in the fanfic but from someone else's view point. And as I was saying, inner beauty is a bigger part of everyone than outer. And it sucks that society judges us by our body size, weight and looks. I hate that we have to look a certain way to be accepted. We're all biologically different and it's not fair to expect males and females to look a certain way. **

**Anyways, what did y'all think? (By the way, I'm not American but I love how you say "y'all")**

**What do you think of Alice? How do you think she figured out that Bella is a lesbian, and that she likes Rose? Alice is a sneaky little one :')  
Leave me with your thoughts? Comments? How you feel? Whether you're still reading? **

**Basically I am "thirsty" for reviews! But only because they make me smile and motivate me to write. So if you want another long chapter then review.  
**

**Also, THANK YOU**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	9. AN 2

**Hey guys, I'm sorry but I won't be uploading for a while, I have to focus on my revision, so I apologise. I am really ,really, really sorry.**

**I hope you all can wait for a while and bare with me, I do need to get my grades to get into the university I want :) **

**If I don't upload in the next 3 weeks at some point then I will definitely be uploading on the 21st of June as my last exam is on the 20th in the morning. **

**ALSO I'd like to as usual say a BIG thank you to those of you who leave reviews, those of you who favourite or follow this story even me! Just thank you! I don't think you'll ever understand how much that means to me, how much it fills me with joy to know that you all actually like the stuff my brain is making up :') **

** And I really, truly am sorry for not being able to write or upload at the moment, and I really hope none of you leave due to the wait.**

**See you all (or most of you) soon xo **


	10. Chapter 10

**HEY GUYS! (hope you read that in your mind as though I was shouting because I was)  
I know it's been ages but my exams are finally done! And I am now free until the end of September because that's when I'll hopefully be starting university! A new adventure of sorts I guess :)  
And a BIG THANK YOU to those of you who have left reviews and fav'ed or followed whilst I haven't been uploading, gave me hope that some of you guys may still be here :)  
**

**Anyways, I know I said I'd get this chapter up on the 20th after my exams had all ended but I was knackered and I just could not be bothered, sorry :/  
But I have finally sat down and written the next part, so I really hope you like it, it's not long but I should be uploading from Thursday again, weekly.  
**

**Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, they belong to SM, but fortunately I can play around with them ;)**

* * *

"Well what?" Alice replies looking smug.

Sighing loudly I run my hand through my hair and play with the loose curls at the tip, "You know exactly what Alice"

"No I don't, I'm not a mind reader Bella, nor can I see the future to figure out what your question is so, you'll have to ask me, properly" Alice states, her face completely stoic except for the little twitch at the corner on the right side of her pink lips.

Getting fed up of her avoidance I stand up off of the bed and start pacing. Why can't she just cooperate? I know what she's trying to do; she's trying to get me to admit it again, but this time with the words actually coming from my own mouth. For goodness sake, why is she being so immature and childish about this? Ugh. She aggravates me so much at times.

Hearing Alice giggle I rapidly turn around and stalk up to her until I'm an inch from her face. Fire, irritation and annoyance raging within me were causing my pale cheeks to heat up. She doesn't even flinch, and still has that stupid smug smile across her lips.

"You're in my personal airspace bubble Bella, could you back away a bit please" Alice says, still smiling without a care in the world.

"_Your _personal bubble?"

"No, my personal '_airspace_' bubble, you're kind of too close at the moment, all up in my breathing space"

I let out a chuckle and back away slightly before responding with, "Are pigs flying?"

Alice looks at me slightly confused, "What are you on about you crazy cow? The heck is wrong with you now?"

"What's wrong with me? You're asking _me_ what's wrong?"

Alice nods her head once, and opens her mouth to answer but I hold my hand up as I start pacing again.

"One, you're not answering my question from before, and don't say you don't know what I'm on about because from that smug grin of yours I know you know exactly what I am going on about. Two, the fact you're not answering is making me go loopy. Three, I really need answers. Four, you really need to answer me. And five, the fact you, Mary Alice Brandon, need personal space. I mean, do you even know what personal space is?! The amount of times you've been invading mine throughout my life … Ha. Pfft" I ramble out and turn to face her again.

"Are you done drama queen?" Alice asks nonchalantly whilst getting up.

Rolling my eyes I say, "I am no…"

Alice quickly places her tiny hand against my mouth, stopping me from retorting. Just as I'm about to protest she raises her eyebrow, daring me to talk. Sighing I nod, but she responds with lifting her eyebrow higher, just to get her point across of me not uttering another word. Pushing her hand away I pretend to zip and lock my lips shut whilst giving her a tight smile to continue.

Nodding her head she starts off on what I'm guessing is going to be a lecture, "Calm down. God, you're going to end up having a coronary right here, right now, and I'll have no clue on what to do. I mean, do you really want to die at such a young age? As a virgin?"

Wait what … What else does this little pixie know?! How does she know?!

Before I could even question her Alice holds her hand up and answers my unasked question, "Yes I know you're a virgin, no, no one told me a thing. I realised it as soon as Rose assumed you did because the expression that was on your face gave you away. Rose on the other hand was too busy being drunk to even look at you. But then again you did hide your expression as soon as it came so props to you. Anyways, I'm pretty sure you want to at least have sex once before dying so stop raising your own blood pressure.

Now, most of your "points" were mainly me not answering a question that you haven't even asked me …"

Again my mouth automatically opens to deny what she's just said; however before I can even utter a word she raises her brow which makes my mouth shut faster than it even opened.

"It's true, so don't even bother denying any part of what I've just said! So once you ask me whatever you need to ask me, I promise I will answer you. And that crap you said about me invading your personal space? I only do it when it needs to be done. Like just a while ago, when I had to shut your mouth before you said something stupid. And excuse you, because I definitely know what personal space is, if I didn't then how could I invade it? Think about that" she finishes with a smile.

She has a point I guess.

Sighing I walk and climb onto the bed, folding my legs I place my hands on them. Looking up at Alice I pat the spot in front of me. She leaps and jumps onto the bed, knocking me over whilst laughing. But I'm not in the mood to laugh. I need answers. Righting myself up I clear my throat, which causes Alice to stop laughing, she stares patiently, waiting for me to start.

I cough again, and play with the bed spread, not daring to look at Alice as I say, "So erm, h…h…how did you know that I'm a … erm a … lesb … erm into girls?"

"Well …" Alice starts off.

And then a pillow hits the side of my head, knocking me down again.

"THE FUCK ALICE?!" I shout as I glare at her completely confuzzled.

"Sorry, you're just so … you just annoy me at times with how dense you can be" Alice responds as she helps me sit up.

"Whatever."

"To answer your question, well, I'm your best fucking friend Bella, if I didn't notice then who else would?! I've known you since you were a baby! I know all your damn signs; I know literally everything about you! Not only that but the main give away signs were or are, how you barely ever respond to boys, or how you barely talk about them, or when they're spoken of you just don't seem to care and zone out. Also, I've seen how you stare slightly too long at some girls whilst ignoring hot guys … So yeah. Oh and keep in mind, I am your best friend. I know this shit kay?"

Well, shit. She's right.

I nod my head once, still not looking up at Alice.

"So, anything else you want to ask me Bella?" Alice pries.

I'm not sure how to form the words. No, more like I'm not sure how to get the words to come out of my mouth. How do I ask her? Will I even like her response? If she knows then do other people know? Oh god, has Rose realised? I mean, Rose is one of my best friends, so if Alice has figured it out, will Rose have done so too?

The clearing of a throat pulls me out of my thoughts. Glancing up I notice Alice is starting to get impatient, knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them as she rocks slowly back and forth.

"So … erm … Alice …" I start off, trying to gather my thoughts into one place. Not knowing what to do with my hands I run them through my hair, pulling it in different directions.

"Yes my dear best friend? What is it you want to ask me?" Alice replies, lips tightly held together as she tries not to smile.

"Yes, I want to ask you something. Well, basically, erm you obviously know that I'm into girls … You explained how you knew that pretty well … But the real question I want an answer to is, erm basically … how … how did you figure out that I love Rose in a you know … not friendly way but like erm more than a friend?" I ramble out.

"Well, that took ages, and Bella, obviously I figured it out, the way you tend to look at her at times or when you speak about her or when someone else speaks about her your eyes light up in a different way, not the normal sparkle but a different one. I'm not sure how to explain it. And Bella like I told you before, I am your best friend so you can't hide shit from me."

I can feel the blush rise up my cheeks, tinging them slightly.

Clearing me throat I reply, "Oh erm yeah, of course … Erm Alice … does anyone else know?"

"Only one other person Bella" she says completely casually.

"What?! WHO?!" I shout as I finally look up at her, my eyes wide and mouth agape in shock.

I must look comical since Alice bellows out a laugh, holding onto her sides as tears form in her eyes.

"Oh god Bella … Y-y-you should se-see yourself right now … Oh god. Your expression and hair … Oh shit" she gasps out in between her fits of laughter.

I grab her shoulders and shake Alice, "ALICE PLEASE TELL ME!"

She pushes me off of her and raises her index finger up asking for a minute.

Letting out a sigh I move to sit back against the pillows, trying to wait patiently for Alice to answer.

* * *

**Like I said it isn't that long, and I was planning on writing more but it's getting late here and I thought this might be the best place to stop. Oh also, I wanted to upload this as soon as I could too, so I had to stop, I apologise if you wanted a longer chapter but I will be uploading on Thursday again!  
I really do hope none of you guys have left because I've taken ages to upload, I apologise but I had exams and my studying comes first obviously :)  
**

**Anyways, what do you guys think? Is Bella being a tad over dramatic? Who else do you think knows about Bella loving Rose?  
What do you think about Alice? Is she the kind of best friend you'd like to have? Because I can definitely say I'd love to have a best friend like her :')**

**Please do leave a review of some sort so I know that you guys are at least enjoying my fanfic a little, it seriously does bring a smile to my face :)**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! Like usual I want to thank those of you who have left reviews, those of you who have fav'ed this fanfic and those of you who have followed! It means a lot, it brings a smile to my face and motivates me to carry on writing. Also, some of you had welcome'ed me back on reviews, so I just want to say a big thank you to them! Because you guys made me feel great inside, which was much needed at the time (:**

**This chapter is the longest one yet, so I really hope you do like it. It's mostly just a conversation between best friends Alice and Bella (:**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine, they belong to SM but fortunately I get to play around with them (;**

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_{"Oh god Bella … Y-y-you should se-see yourself right now … Oh god. Your expression and hair … Oh shit" she gasps out in between her fits of laughter._

_I grab her shoulders and shake Alice, "ALICE PLEASE TELL ME!"_

_She pushes me off of her and raises her index finger up asking for a minute. _

_Letting out a sigh I move to sit back against the pillows, trying to wait patiently for Alice to answer.}_

... … … … … … … … … … … … … …

"Okay, okay … I-I-I'm do-do-done" Alice wheezes out in between chuckles of laughter.

"It probably wasn't even that funny Alice, you seem to over exaggerate everything" I say whilst picking at my cuticles feeling embarrassed at my behaviour and completely stressed over the thought of who else could know. Oh god, I hope it's not Rose. But why would she tell Alice? And wouldn't she be awkward around me then? Nah, can't be Rose. Oh crap, what if it's Renee? Does mum know? I mean mother's intuition and all that right? Please don't let it be her. Please.

I'm bought out of my musings when Alice knocks my hands down, pushing them onto my lap. Looking up at her I glare.

"What? You have got to stop ruining your nails, otherwise we're going to have a problem here Bella" she says as she points back and forth in between us, trying to threaten me.

"No Alice. What has got to stop is you thinking you can always be so violent with me. That needs to stop otherwise _we're_ going to have _problem_ here _Alice_." I say giving her my bitch brow, making sure she knows that I'm completely serious with my threat.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry", Alice apologises holding her hands up in defence.

"Sorry for what? Give me the actual reason so I know you understand" I state.

Alice bows her head down, staring at her lap she slowly looks up at me as she says, "I'm sorry for being so _violent_ with you. I'll try and stop" I give her a nod, but then her lips tighten as though she's trying to not laugh, and she says, "I'll try to ignore your stupidity and dense-ness"

"ALICE!" I shout.

"WHAT?!" she responds, "It's not my fault that I have to knock the sense back into you, stop being so dense at certain things and my, what was the word … Oh right, _violent_ tendencies will also stop. Capiche? Capiche."

Sighing I rub my temples; she's giving me a headache. Why did I miss her? Oh right, because even though she's an evil little pixie I love the crap out of her. Trying a different approach to all this stress I slowly breathe in and out for a couple of minutes, trying to get control over my body and heart rate.

Breathing in a deep breath I look up at Alice and stutter out, "So Alice, who else knows about the fact I … I erm yeah … about me seeing Rose in a different light?"

Alice smiles, "I'm glad you asked my dear best friend, because the only other person who I know that knows is Jasper" she says with her arms spreading out in a flourish.

I'm guessing she wants me to be happy about this fact as she's holding her arms out in a ta-da kind of way, as though she's given me a great surprise. More like shock. How the heck did he find out? I mean, there's no way he could know … Not unless … no. Alice wouldn't. She couldn't. Why would she tell him? I don't understand.

I can feel the anger boiling inside; it washes over me, taking control of my body. No. I need to calm down and ask her nicely; otherwise she won't tell me a thing. Okay, calm down Bella, no need to make hasty conclusions or jump to said conclusions; just ask your devil of a friend. Remember, ask her nicely.

"Are you alright there Bella? You've gone red" asks the devil incarnate herself.

"Hmm … yeah I'm good Alice." The anger bubbles up again, and I want to shout at her, demand for answers. This secret that I've been hiding for years, this secret that I thought no one knew and I now find out that my best friend knew all along. Okay that I can deal with but the fact her boyfriend knows too?! Who else knows? Why did she tell him of all people?! Doesn't she know how to keep a secret? Okay calm down Bella. Breathe in, hold, and out. Breathe in, hold, and out.

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella?"

"How did Jasper find out?" Breathe Bella, hold it, and out.

"Oh yeah erm about that … I can't exactly say" Alice mumbles out looking anywhere but at me.

"Alice, you have one minute to tell me otherwise I'm going to leave right now" I threaten her through gritted teeth.

"Well, Bella, basically what happened was that … look I can promise you I didn't tell him, I swear Bella I didn't" she pleads for me to understand.

"Explain" I demand, arms folded in my lap as I stare at her.

Not looking at me she rambles, "Well, a while ago when we all went to that party, you know Jessica's one?" I nod. "That day was the day Jasper spent the most time around me while I was with you guys so in default he spent a lot of time with you and Rose. And he well, he noticed certain things to do with your behaviour, and basically from then on and he just observed you both whenever you were around each other and when you weren't.

Then a while ago he asked me if I noticed anything strange, and as you know Bella, I already figured it out so I replied with a no. But he kept insisting for me to think about it and observe. I swear Bella, I tried to reason with him and I tried to make things up but Jasper's observant and wouldn't believe me"

Alice grabs my hands, looks me in the eye and pleads with me to understand as she carries on rambling, "So finally I just admitted to knowing, I didn't tell him because he obviously figured it out I just confirmed it, and he was glad that I knew so then you'd have someone to talk to. He only wants the best for you and he swore he wouldn't tell a soul. Your secret is safe Bella. I promise."

So Jasper figured it out by himself, and so did Alice. Am I that bad at hiding my "signs", what if anyone else figures it out? I guess it's understandable that Jasper figured it out, he's one of those quiet guys that barely says a thing but observes everyone else's behaviour and cues. And Alice as she pointed out before said that she's my best friend so obviously she'd know. I just hope no one else does.

"Bella! Bella! Please tell me you're not angry with me?" Alice asks as she holds my hands, shaking them to get my attention.

"No, I'm not mad. I mean it is understandable right? You being my best friend and Jasper being the quiet observant type?" I ask her, trying to reassure myself.

"Yes it is Bella, don't worry I'm pretty sure no one else knows about your dirty little secret" Alice smirks as she says this.

"Alice!" I shout

"You have got to stop shouting out my name, we don't need the neighbours thinking I'm cheating on Jasper now do we Bella?" she says licking her upper lip seductively with a playful spark in her eye.

"Can you stop?" I laugh out.

"It got you to laugh and lighten up didn't it?" Alice says as she comes over to give me a hug.

Her arms wrap around my shoulders, holding me close to her. I let my arms wrap around her waist as she's on her knees. I breathe her scent in, it reminds me of familiarity and childhood. It reminds me of Alice and our friendship, which in turn reminds me of our promise to always be there for each other no matter what happens. Fortunately we haven't ever broken that promise, and hopefully never will.

"I've missed you so much Alice" I say into her stomach.

"I've missed you too Bella" she responds.

… … … … … … … … … … … …

*10.30pm*

Turning round to face Alice on her sofa I enquire, "So, speaking of Jasper how is he? How are the both of you?"

Taking her eyes off of the movie she turns around until we're knee to knee. Alice's eyes spark up with this happiness whenever she talks about or thinks about Jasper, and there it is.

"Oh god Bella, he's so perfect for me. He treats me so well, and the fact he's moving to New York for me?! I just, I don't know how to explain the joy I feel because of that! We're doing really well, and I'm meeting him tomorrow! I haven't seen him in months and I miss him so much but it's true, that saying, distance does make the heart grow fonder. We've spoken every night and we skype at least 4 times a week. I can't wait to see him again!"

"I'm happy for you Alice, he is a great guy, and you deserve no less than being treated like the princess you are"

"He's amazing Bella" she sighs out dreamily, looking into thin air.

"I'm surprised Alice" I say curiously.

"What? Why?" she asks bringing her focus back into the room.

"Well, I would have thought you'd have spent tonight with him, especially since you have an empty house, if you get what I'm saying" I say playfully, winking and making kissy faces at her.

"Shut up!" she says whilst slapping my thigh, "I was thinking about it but I've missed you too Bella, and you know you still come first, you're my best friend and I love you"

"AW Alice! You're going to make me cry" I say whilst hugging her.

"Also, Jasper was busy tonight and we have the rest of the week to be together so that helped my decision on choosing" Alice quickly spits out.

Pushing away from her I respond with, "Well, fuck you too Alice, fuck you too. I see where I stand in your life" as I wipe a fake tear from the underneath of my right eye.

"Shush! We both know you mean a lot to me" she states, smiling at me.

"I know Alice, just like you do to me too" I respond smiling back.

I turn back to watch the movie, and can't help but let out a laugh as Fat Amy is doing her mermaid dance on the floor. Pitch Perfect is a hilarious movie to watch again and again and again. It never seems to bore me or Alice.

Suddenly the film pauses, and I abruptly turn towards Alice intending on shouting at her because she knows how much I love this film and how much I hate interruptions. But she stops me before I can even begin to open my mouth.

"Oh hush up Bella, we've seen this a million and one times! I want to talk about you and Rosalie!"

"Alice, are you deaf? Have you lost your memory? I've told you before there is no me and Rosalie! We're not together, there's nothing to talk about." I say dejectedly, my voice becoming quieter with every word I speak.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" Alice says, shaking her head each time she states my name, "You may not be together but that doesn't mean we can't talk about her, and talk about you"

Trying to get off of this topic or steer it away I say, "Alice, why would you want to even talk about her? I mean, it's a known fact that the both of you dislike each other"

Alice frowns and stares down at her lap, then looks back up at me again, "We don't dislike each other Bella, and we're just not … we just aren't fond of each other, but we can get along for your sake. And anyways, just because I may not be fond of her doesn't mean that I'd stop you from gushing or ranting about her. I know you need someone to talk to Bella, you've been keeping all this locked up inside of yourself for too long"

I'm not sure what it is, or maybe it's what Alice said but something inside of me bursts, as though a dam has been cracked open and all my feelings for Rose and why I love her just pours out; from her hair, to her eyes, to her mouth, to her body, to her personality and protectiveness. It all gushes out as I tell Alice when I first felt something for Rose to what happened recently. As I speak Alice seems to light up with me, she seems to feel the same joy I feel at certain memories and she also feels the hurt and pain I feel at the most recent ones (of Rose being with that girl in our dorm room and with Jacob just couple of hours ago).

Except her hurt turns to anger and frustration. Alice paces in front of the sofa, muttering to herself, all I can hear are a few words and two names, mine and Rose's. Unexpectedly she stops to face me and states, "We are going to do something to make Rosalie realise her love for you"

"Alice, Rose doesn't like me like that! I need to get over her. I need to find someone else."

"Bella, I'm pretty sure Rosalie lo…"

I don't let her finish because it's too hard to hear when I know she doesn't love me, cutting Alice off I say, "Alice please I'm begging you, just stop. I need to get over her by finding someone new. Can you help me do that? Please?" Pleading her to understand I carry on, "I'm tired of being hurt and having my hopes crush. Just help me find someone new? Please?"

My body slowly shakes as I hold back my sobs, as I hold back the pain I feel from seeing Rose and that girl in bed, Rose and Jacob moaning in the passage way, Rose and Jacob leaving the house, all of which are etched into my memory.

Alice sits down on the sofa and holds my shaking form in her small arms, shushing and rocking me. She whispers, "Okay Bella, I'll help you"

"Thank you" I choke out, my throat dry and itchy.

I'm not sure how long we sit there for, it could have been minutes or hours but all I know is that Alice is still by my side. She slowly removes her arms from around me as she gets up and leaves the room. I hear her rustling around in the kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers. After a while she comes barging into the room holding a tray that's probably heavier than her. Alice wobbles in and places it down on the floor in front of the sofa and flourishes her arms in a ta-da way again.

"I thought milk and cookies might help" she states before plonking herself down beside the food.

Letting out a light chuckle I join her on the floor, "You're right, they do help"

"Well, I remember when we were young kids and mum would bring these to us whenever one of us was upset, it used to cheer us up straight away, I'm glad the magic of it hasn't gone" Alice says whilst dunking a cookie into her glass of milk.

I hmm, and then we dunk, bite, chew and drink quietly until all 6 cookies are gone and we're left with only our glasses of milk.

"So I was planning on having a party whilst my parents are out of town" Alice says, putting down her empty glass on the tray.

"A party? When? Why?"

"Yes a party, erm not tomorrow night but the night after, and because I can and want to" she states putting everything back onto the tray and pushing it under the sofa.

"Okay, who are you going to invite? Not too many people right?" I ask as I pull the tray out and stand up with it.

"Just the usual lot and their significant others if they have any and stop worrying Bella! Live a little!"

I start walking out the room as I respond, "Okay and I do live! I'm only worrying because of what happened last time Alice!"

Alice follows me downstairs, watching as I wash up our dishes and clean up after her.

"You don't have to do that, I can do it tomorrow morning Bella"

I shake my head and carry on cleaning. Getting a dish cloth I dry up the dishes and place them back into their rightful places, I then wipe down the counters and place the cloth back on the railing near the sink.

Facing Alice I state, "You wouldn't have done it tomorrow, we both know that. And do you really need to have a party Alice? I thought we could just hang out and what not."

Alice sighs, "Bella, you can't keep closing yourself off to people, you need to come out of your shell, which has obviously grown back ever since I went off to New York. And also, this party needs to happen for my plan to work" she rambles.

"What plan Alice?" I ask.

She looks confused, and then shock takes over her expression, her eyes look anywhere but at me for a few seconds. Alice mutters to herself incoherently. After which she clears her throat and says, "Oh you know, finding you someone Bella!"

Well, that was weird. What's Alice trying to hide? Why would she hide it from me? Nah, she can't be hiding something, she wouldn't do that and anyways, there's no need for her to do that. However this is Alice, and she's a sneaky, conniving and devious little pixie. Ugh. I'll think over this conversation later, I just cannot be bothered right now.

Alice clearing her throat brings my mind back to focus and I say, "Oh. Right. Yeah. Hmm okay Alice, it is your house."

"Yes it is. Anyways, do you want to finish watching Pitch Perfect?"

My mood brightens automatically, my mind forgetting about Alice acting weird, "Oh yeah! Come on Alice! Quickly!" I say as I rush out the room and up the stairs.

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**I really do hope you liked this chapter, it took me ages to write! (':  
Please leave a review? It means a lot to know that some of you guys are actually reading and liking/enjoying this fanfic, the reviews tend to motivate me to actually write. SO without them I won't be writing the next chapter guys (;  
**

**Oh yes, I'd like to say that in the last chapter I said I'd be uploading weekly on Thursday's, that may not always be the case. If I don't upload on Thursday I'll definitely upload on the Friday!**

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter? And what you think of the story in general so far?**

**Love JanoTwilight xo**


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